The five habits of highly successful slackers

The five habits of highly successful slackers are:

1.Perception is Everything
2.Whatever!
3.The Team Player
4.Procrastination
5.Under the Radar

Today let’s take a closer look at Procrastination, as it is a trait both successful slackers and overachievers alike employed in the workplace.
There are many different ways to use procrastination for a successful slacker’s benefit. The obvious ones are enhanced free time and effective stall tactics.
A less obvious one is using procrastination to test the true importance of a task. In a work world rife with dunderheaded management who have an inflated sense of self-worth and importance, employees often get assigned useless and frivolous tasks which have an “ACTION REQUIRED” stipulation added to them. Yes, it’s in all CAPS so nobody can use the de-facto excuse, “Oh, I didn’t realize it was a required action”.

Instead of immediately responding to the task and completing it, successful slackers follow a flowchart entitled “ACTION REQUIRED - Not Really”.
It’s a three step process designed to test whether or not the action being assigned is truly required, so you don’t waste precious free time on useless assignments from people who think what they have to say is important.

A Valentine’s Day Poem for Managers

If you don’t love what you do.
Stop paying your dues.
Look for loving clues,
For work that you can say, “I DO.”

Telling Your Family That Work is More Important

This is a tough time in any middle manager’s life. The time when you finally realize that you care more about your job than your family.
I remember when I told my Dad. He was crushed, but it felt great to release the burden I was carrying around. I also gained more free time that I wouldn’t have otherwise had available. It was nice to know I didn’t have to visit him in the nursing home anymore and I could be myself again.
So, how do you broach this touchy subject? The best way to start is to increase your weekly work hours by multiples of ten until your significant other notices. It’s important that your work doesn’t suffer during this awkward transition.
When the situation comes to a head it’s best to set up a pros and cons chart so everything makes sense. I titled my chart, “The Pros and Cons of Eliminating You From My Life.” You might want to use some of the following Pros:
I have the freedom to work late.
I don’t have to waste my time at our children’s soccer matches.
I will no longer have to buy presents and gifts, which definitely helps the wallet.
I won’t have to pretend like I’m listening anymore.
I can share my love with spreadsheets, Word documents, and my desk.
I like to keep my Cons column empty, just so everything is clear. I hope this helps you free yourself from the clutches of a loving and supportive family.

Anger Management Joke

Dad to son: when I beat u how do you control your anger?Son: I start cleaning toiletDad: How does that satisfy you?Son: I clean it with your toothbrush...