If you try to please everyone

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked: "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story? In Marketing, if you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your ass good-bye.

The Marketing Manager :)

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says: "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says: "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The marketing manager says: "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's Ship it!"

A boat race

The Marketing Departments of two rival American and Japanese companies decided to hold a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels until both teams felt they were ready to demonstrate their prowess.
The big day arrived, and the Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so they hired a consultant to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of additional study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough people were rowing on the American team.
So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
Again the big day dawned, the race began, and the Japanese team won by TWO miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Real Advertisements

1. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
2. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
3. The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
4. Dinner special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
5. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
6. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home.
7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
8. See ladies blouses. 50% off!

Literally lateral !

One of the many joys of collecting articles, notes, reading materials etc., and filing them under different folders is finding something when you least expect it. As is this discovery today – an old but interesting list of questions that requires you to think laterally if you wish to solve them.

There are five questions here. Don’t look at the answers immediately after each question but try answering all of them and then scroll down for the answers.

Good luck!

1. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

2. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?

3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

4. A man is wearing black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street, with all the street lamps of. A black car is coming towards him with its light off, but somehow he manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? (This is logical than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used as an interview question by a leading software company for prospective employees.)


Here, are the answers….

1. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets). This simple puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate moms. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

2. The third. Lions that have not eaten in three years are dead!

3. Sure you can. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!

4. It was day time.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down a manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

THE TOP TEN DO'S WHEN STARTING A BUSINESS

1. Live frugally and begin saving up money for starting your business.
2. Learn your intended business by working for someone else in the same business first.
3. Consider the benefits of starting a moonlight business.
4. Consider the advantages of operating a family business.
5. Objectively measure your skills and training against potential competition.
6. Consider subcontracting to low cost suppliers if you're manufacturing a product.
7. Test market your product or service before starting or expanding.
8. Make "for" and "against" list describing the specific business you are considering.
9. Talk to lots of people in your intended business for advice.
10. Make a comparative analysis of all opportunities you are considering.

Top Ten Mistakes Made in Starting a Business

People fail in business because they make avoidable mistakes. Start-up entrepreneurs are possessed with enthusiasm and confidence but too often are unaware of potentially fatal business potholes that lie before them. All it takes is a single mistake, one false step, and a business can be history. Here are the top most commonly made mistakes:

1. Not picking the right business to begin with.
2. Inadequate prior experience in the business.
3. Quitting job security too soon, before adequate plans are laid
4. Not having a progressively updated written business plan.
5. Inadequate cash flow management (running out of money.)
6. Opening a business in the wrong location.
7. Inadequate protection in business documents including leases.
8. Failed partnerships.
9. Lack of selling and marketing know-how.
10. Expanding too rapidly before adequate testing.

Stop a nuclear disaster

Hi ,

Our government is churning out one hazardous bill after another. This time it is a bill called the Civil Liability for Nuclear Damage, and it's coming up for a vote in a couple of days.

The bill lets U.S. corporations off the hook for any nuclear accidents they cause on Indian soil. They'd only have to pay a meagre amount, and Indian taxpayers would be stuck paying crores for the nuclear clean up and to compensate the victims.

Without any public debate, the Prime Minister is appeasing American interests and ignoring our safety.

Greenpeace is launching a petition asking the PM to hold a public consultation before introducing the bill.

I have already signed this petition. Can you join me?

http://www.greenpeace.org/india/stop-the-vote2

Thanks!

creativesaran@gmail.com

You are receiving this email because someone you know sent it to you from the Greenpeace site. Greenpeace retains no information about individuals contacted through its site, and will not send you further messages without your consent -- although your friends could, of course, send you another message.

Customer Service or "Disservice"

It’s increasingly becoming fashionable for marketers and marketing students to talk about customer service. If you were to sit in any of the hundreds of boardrooms across this country or if you were to attend a marketing class in any of the thousands of B-schools that dot this nation, you can’t help but think there is an overriding obsession with customer service among the past, present and potential marketers of India.

Is it true? Are we obsessed with customer service?

We are not even close. When it comes to customer service, we are light years away. We are probably better than we were during the socialist era of the past but we still have miles to travel.

Let me list two examples here. These are not run-of-the-mill brands that I am talking about. These are India’s most respected. If this is what the best of India has to offer when it comes to customer service, you can work out the math yourself about others.

These examples are not figments of somebody’s imagination. They are as experienced by yours truly!

Tata Sky: If you were to add a new package to your existing list of channels, all you have to do is just SMS from your registered mobile to Tata Sky customer care centre. A piece of cake you say. But wait till you wish to drop the same package and you would realize the shenanigans of Tata Sky. Nah, you can’t just SMS, you have to call only. It would take an eternity to reach a customer care representative. And till you reach that abominable snowman, the Mr. Big foot, be prepared to listen to hours of bilingual barrage promoting Tata Sky’s scintillating subscription packages and promotions.

HDFC Bank: Okay, you need a loan; all of us do and there are these modern and magnificently customer-oriented private banks that would come running if you care to just lift the phone and call. A representative would come home, assist you in filling the forms, help you with paperwork and have your demand draft delivered in less than 48 hours flat. Great, isn’t it? Only till you wish to prepay the loan. Try calling him and he would only ask you to visit their regional office that could be across the town, if you are lucky or could well be in another city. Travel there and your travails have just begun. You might have to wait in queue for hours, if not days. And the best part is when you ask the teller after repaying your loan what happens to your post-dated cheques that you had submitted. With as much expression as a corpse you would find him or her say, “Some post-dated cheques might still be presented for payment, and if it happens do go and talk to the concerned branch.” And before you try reasoning with the teller you would find him/her say, “Speak to the enquiry counter, not here; next. “

Before I sign off, I would like to share with you what I read long ago about a department store in Michigan U.S. Apparently the store has a plaque right at the entrance of the store that serves as directions to its employees and as an advisory to its customers. Here is what the plaque says:

Marketing Rules Here:

Rule No.1: The customer is always right.

Rule No.2: If you think the customer is wrong, read Rule No.1

சர்வீஸ் மார்க்கெட்டிங் அட் இட்ஸ் பெஸ்ட்

…that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-care executive. It teaches us many things: the importance of customer service, the outcome of thinking differently; and the value of deciphering the bizarre!A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family: ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"The Pontiac President was understandably sceptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour.Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!The engineer quickly came up with the answer: vapour lock.It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.You see, even crazy looking problems are sometimes real. And all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.Don't just say it is impossible without putting a sincere effort. What really matters is your attitude and your perception.Remember, ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

Life in one Picture

I'm Dead............

It's another morning...

 ..... Again I have to go to office. 
 
 
 Ohh, this is me... I shouted having a glance at my snap in today's news paper. 

 But what the HELL it is doing in the death column?? 
 Strange... 
 
 One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a 
 severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think 
 I had a sound sleep. 
 
 
 Its morning now, ohh...... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee? 
 
 
 I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me. 
 
 
 Where is everyone...??? I screamed. 
 
 
 "I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me check." I said to 
 myself. 
 
 
 So many people..... Not all of them crying... 
 
 
But why are some of them crying... 
 
 
 WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor... 
 
 
 "I AM HERE" .... I shouted!!! No one listened. 
 
 
 "LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one was interested in 
 me. 
 
 
 They all were looking me on the bed. 
 
 
 I went back to my bed room.. 
 
 
 "Am I dead??" I asked myself. 
 
 
 Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends? 
 
 
 I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... trying 
 to console each other. 
 
 
 My wife was crying... she was really looking sad. 
 
 
 My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just b'coz his mom was sad. 
 
 
 How can I go without saying to my kid that I really love him, I really do 
 care about him..
 
 
 How can I go without saying to my wife that she is really the most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..?? 
 
 How can I go without saying to my parents that I m what I am ... just because of them ?? 
 
 
 How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I would have done most of the wrong things in my life... thank them for being there always when I needed them... and say sorry for not being there when they really needed me.. 
 
 
 I can see a person standing in the corner, trying to hide his 
 tears... 
 
 
 Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding parted us, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us that way. 
 
 
 I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to 
 say sorry for everything, we r still best friends, please forgive me." 
 
 
 No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!! 
 
 
 I really don't care for such people. 
 
 
 But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand. 
 
 
 My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD??? 
 
 
 I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying... 
 
 
 "OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..." 
 
 
 I just want to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them. 
 
 
 My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful. 
 
 
 "YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted. 
 
 
 She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her. 
 
 
 "GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. 
 
 
 I cried... 
 
 
 One more chance please.... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to make my dad proud of me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thank them for still being in my life.... 
 
 
 Then I looked up and cried!!!! 
 
 
 I shouted.... 
 
 
 "GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!" 
 
 
 "You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did  you have a nightmare?" 
 
 
 I was sleeping.... 
 
 
 Ohh that was just a dream.... !!!!
 
 
 My wife was there... she can hear me... 
 
 
 This is the happiest moment of my life... 
 
 
 I hugged her and whispered..... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN  THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR" 
 
 
 I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy.... 
 
 
 "THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE??!!?" 
 
 
 So, Now it's not late.. forget Ur Ego, your past... and Xpress Ur love to others... Be friendly... Keep smiling forever....... 
 
 


 
Life is just once...so kick away all the dump rules .............

De"Globalisation" ?

THE economic meltdown has popularised a new term: deglobalisation. Some critics of capitalism seem happy about it—like Walden Bello, a Philippine economist, who can perhaps claim to have coined the word with his book, “Deglobalisation, Ideas for a New World Economy”. Britain’s prime minister, Gordon Brown, is among those who fear the results will be bad.

But is globalisation really ending? The world’s economies are certainly slowing fast. And the speed and scale of this recession are raising doubts about the assumptions that had underpinned the drive to integrate world markets. At the end of 2008 the IMF said the world economy would grow 2.2% in 2009, less than half the rate in 2007. Now it thinks growth will be just 0.5% this year, the lowest for 60 years. Even that may be optimistic; in the last quarter of 2008, some economies shrank at annualised rates of over 10%.

Nobody ever said globalisation had ended economic ups and downs, but this feels different: prima facieevidence of big problems at least, and possibly of the failure of globalisation to deliver many of its advertised benefits, especially to the poor. True, economic slowdown is not the same as deglobalisation. And the slowdown has yet to affect one thing. For years, poor countries have been growing faster than rich ones; so far, they still are. The gap between real GDP growth in emerging markets and in rich countries widened from nothing in 1991 to about five points in 2007—and, says the IMF, it will stay at 5.3 points in 2008 and 2009. Helping poorer countries catch up has long been among the benefits touted for globalisation.

And yet the process is going into reverse. Globalisation means the global integration of the movement of goods, capital and jobs. Each of these processes is now in trouble. World trade has plunged. As recently as the first half of 2008, boosted by rising commodity prices and a falling dollar, trade was growing at an annualised 20% in dollar terms. In the second half of 2008, as commodities sagged and the dollar rose, growth slowed fast; by September, says the IMF, it was in reverse. In December, says the International Air Transport Association, air-cargo traffic (responsible for over a third of the value of the world’s traded goods) was down 23% on December 2007—almost double the fall in the year up to the end of September 2001, a result affected by the 9/11 terror attacks.

The downturn has been sharpest in countries that opened up most to world trade, especially East Asia’s tigers. Singapore’s exports are 186% of GDP; its economy shrank at an annualised rate of 17% in the last three months of 2008. Taiwan’s exports are over 60% of GDP; and its economy may fall as much as 11% this year. The downturn has also hurt rich countries that specialise in staid old-fashioned manufacturing—supposedly a safer activity than the reckless delusions of finance. On average, says the IMF, rich countries will contract 2% this year. But Germany and Japan, big exporters of capital goods, cars and electronics, will do worse, their economies shrinking by 2.5% and 2.6% respectively. In the last quarter their economies contracted alarmingly, falling at an annualised rate of 8% in Germany and by 13%—the worst since 1974—in Japan.

Small countries which went into businesses that grew in globalisation’s wake, like tourism, are also suffering. The World Tourism Organisation says international tourist arrivals fell 1% in the second half of 2008, which may not sound bad, but compares with growth of more than 5% a year for the previous four years. In the Caribbean, visitors may fall by a third this season; in some islands hotels are half empty, flights are being cancelled and national budgets, reliant on tourism, are strained.

In contrast, the biggest emerging markets are doing less badly so far. In India, where exports are around 15% of GDP, the government recently said growth in the year to April 2009 would be 7.1%; most forecasters put growth for the 2009 calendar year lower, but still about 5%. In Brazil the economy has been harder hit by falling commodity prices and declining exports. Most economists still think output grew a bit in the year to the fourth quarter, and put growth for 2009 at 1.5% to 2%. China was still growing by 6.8% in the year to the fourth quarter, though like Brazil it is probably stagnating. Chinese exports fell 18% and imports 43% in the year to January. All three countries have large domestic markets and relatively stable banking systems, which have not been liberalised.

The gap between toothless tigers and friskier BICs (ie, BRICs minus Russia, a special case because of oil) raises questions not so much about globalisation as a whole—after all, Brazil, India and China have been beneficiaries—as about particular aspects. Can one be too dependent on trade? How far should one liberalise banking? Is there a trade-off between taking advantage of good times and providing shock absorbers for bad ones?

Emerging markets’ trade problems have been worsened by shifts in capital flows, globalisation’s second big plank. According to the World Bank, net private debt and equity flows to developing countries will fall from $1 trillion in 2007 to $530 billion in 2009, or from 7.7% to 3% of those countries’ GDPs. The Institute for International Finance sees an even steeper fall; it says that this year banks will extract more from emerging markets in debt repayments than they inject in new loans. Bond markets in those countries collapsed in the last quarter of 2008, doing less than $5 billion of business; in the second quarter, they had issued about $50 billion of bonds.

As with trade, financial deglobalisation is hitting countries in a variety of ways. In this case, East Asia has been less affected because most countries there are net creditors. But eastern Europe and Russia have been hammered because local banks went on a foreign-borrowing binge, foreign banks piled into their markets (and piled out again) and because some countries lacked insurance policies against tough times. Although many big emerging markets have built up foreign-exchange reserves and cut their external debts, in eastern Europe reserves have been flat, external debts have risen and current- account deficits have grown considerably in the past decade. In these countries, the reversal of globalisation has exacerbated problems that were building up anyway.

People in emerging markets have mixed feelings about financial liberalisation and may not regret its reversal. But foreign direct investment (FDI) is different. Most people welcome new factories and new jobs. FDI is also one of the commonest routes by which skills and technology are transferred from rich to poor countries.

This, too, is falling. The United Nations Conference on Trade and Development (UNCTAD) says worldwide FDI inflows shrank 21% in 2008 to $1.4 trillion. The World Association of Investment Promotion Agencies says FDI will contract by a further 12-15% this year.

In contrast to trade, the investment impact of the global downturn has so far been hardest on the countries where the woes began: rich ones. They have seen FDI falls of one-third on average and by half or more in Britain, Italy and Germany. Finland and Ireland have seen net outflows. FDI flows to developing countries were still growing in 2008, albeit by only 4%, after a rise of 21% in 2007. Flows to big South American countries were up by about a fifth; those to India more than doubled, though they may ebb as GDP falters.

The third of the three main aspects of globalisation—jobs—is following the other two, with a lag. The International Labour Organisation forecasts that unemployment worldwide will rise by around 30m above 2007’s level in 2009. Most of that rise will be the result of recession, not deglobalisation, but some will be attributable to the fall in trade (exporting companies will lay off workers) and some to declining investment (if expansion plans are cut, new jobs will not be created).

Deglobalisation will have a dire impact on migrants. In the past decade, more people have been moving voluntarily than ever before; now, some are going home. Those who provided labour for the housing boom in America (notably Latinos), Ireland (Poles) and China (rural Chinese going to cities on the eastern seaboard) have been among the first to be laid off. In Spain newly jobless builders are competing with migrants there for jobs picking fruit.

This will surely have an effect on the flow of remittances from rich countries to poor ones, although it has so far been quite resilient. In any case, economies that absorbed large numbers of foreign workers may take fewer. Some of the millions of South Asians who work in the Gulf, or the young Africans who flock to South Africa, or the Central Asians who work in Russia, may have to stay at home.

Yet for all the economic pain, the social and political fallout from deglobalisation has not yet been severe. Protests may still come. Or maybe national governments are absorbing most of the ire. In December, Greece saw riots after a police bullet killed a teenager. In France, unions brought over 1m people onto the streets for a one-day strike, and a riot in Latvia over economic policy ended in more than 100 arrests. But only in Britain, where workers have picketed refineries and power stations over the hiring of foreigners, has protest had a very anti-global tone.

This lag may be explained by residual support for globalisation, especially in emerging markets. A poll in 2007 by the Pew Global Attitudes Project found that majorities in 47 countries saw international trade as good for them; majorities in 41 out of 46 welcomed multinational firms; in 39 out of 47, most felt better off with a free market. In more than half the countries where changes could be tracked, support for free markets was rising.

When consensus wobbles

But is that still true? Last summer, on the eve of the meltdown, European Union pollsters reported that two-thirds of EU citizens saw globalisation as profitable only for large firms, not citizens. In 2002, according to the Pew poll, 78% of Americans thought foreign trade helped the country; by 2007 it was only 59%. A CNN poll in July 2008 showed that, for the first time, a small majority of Americans saw trade as a threat, not an opportunity.

Of the few worldwide polls to have been completed since then, one by Edelman for the World Economic Forum found that 62% of respondents in 20 countries said they trusted companies less or a lot less now. Manifestly, popular opinion backs more state regulation.

So far, this has mostly taken the form of pouring public money into banks and selected industries, notably cars. Last week Barack Obama set out plans for another vast bank rescue, and the French government promised €6 billion ($7.8 billion) in preferential loans to Renault and Peugeot-Citroën in return for pledges that no car factories would be closed in France.

There has been somewhat less evidence of trade protectionism. India has raised some steel tariffs. The EU has reintroduced export subsidies for some dairy products. Russia has raised import duties on vehicles. But there has also been movement the other way. The American Senate softened the “Buy America” provisions of the stimulus bill. Mexico said that by 2012 it would cut tariffs on thousands of kinds of manufacture. And some countries have sought a safe harbour, rather than embracing pure nationalism. East Europeans are even keener on the shelter of the euro; Iceland has applied to the EU; the Irish are more likely than they were to vote for the EU’s Lisbon treaty.

Despite the downturn, the nations of the world have not shunned globalisation. It has been protected by the belief of firms in the efficiency of global supply chains. But like any chain, these are only as strong as their weakest link. A danger point will come if firms decide that this way of organising production has had its day.

Stock Market

Relax

Operator : 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610'
Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'
Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'......
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'
Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99'
Customer: 'Can I pay by! credit card?'
Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.. .'
Customer: ' What!'
Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registra tion number 1123...'
Customer: ' ????'
Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... '
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?'
Customer: [Faints]..!!!!!God bless u..byee

Make yourself intelligent

How can you improve your self?

That is a constant & demanding question. Since we all are put through the wringer of daily life, we all need to find ways to make ourselves more intelligent and better people. Learning is a constant challenge. Studying takes time and effort. How demeaning it is that the TV and News constantly try to derive us from our intelligence-building sequences.

An example of where intelligence and ability is required is how much work we have to do. Most jobs these days are more and more demanding, and less and less heartening. Taxes are increasing; Rents or Property Taxes are going up. Gas prices rise every other minute. The heating costs are projected to rise exponentially and also the cost of our food is going to rise given the result of so many horrendous storms all over the earth. The work most of us do is a very time-sensitive thing, but often the result is that the better we do the more we have to get done. This is very difficult at times to cope with since many find that they have very little time to spend with their families and nurture their relationships with their children. Another very bothersome problem that many are facing is that they are not getting much of an increase in their pay. They work harder and harder and get very low increases despite their work ethic.

How can we solve all these problems? One definite thing is education. Even if a person has little formal education, they can learn from people and books. Rather than drowning their intellect in front of the TV, people are better off spending time with inspiring examples. It could be a work-mate, a friend, a mentor. Perhaps also a learning CD or a "How-To" book. All of these options help us to better prepare for our lives and become stronger mentally and more intelligent.

I can understand the result of all the studying I did. I rushed through it as fast as I could but nonetheless I expended effort to ensure that I understood it. Then finally I was able to get it all done. I used my time very well and now I am ready to start a great new job. I have had an opportunity to speak with a number of new work-mates and they have persuasively shown me that this will be a perfect option. I am really looking forward to having the time and energy for this new job. After all, since this studying and constant reliance on knowledge is what helps me, I know that I will always be able to make definitive improvements. I realize that my financial rewards will be a result of how hard and how intelligently I work at this new job. I want to make it a superior workplace and have great success.

An additional item that we need to recognize is how vital that we keep our family values intact. If we fall apart in our relationships it has a very harsh impact on our ability to deal with problems. So, the recommendation is as follows:

1. Study instead of watching such valueless TV

2. Be willing to read and learn

3. Spend time with your wife or husband: your best friend :)

4. Get more sleep and you will function even better

5. Be willing to go without coffee or alcohol from time to time in order to get better sleep

6. Smile and laugh - the more we do so the better we will be equipped to deal with difficulties

7. Make goals, set them and review them regularly - and constantly work toward them!

8. Wake up and get ready to make things happen as soon as the door opens.

9. Dress for success - don't let the obsequious and ludicrous fashion guides try to tell you what is best. Some of what is fashionable in these fleeting days lasts only a momentary glance before it is cast aside for the next contemptuous style. Make your choices based on intelligence and your image will exude confidence.

Advertising...... "A Fun"

Advertising is fun. Might not be for the client who probably thinks the entire advertising fraternity should be shot dead. (Rightly so too!) But for those in advertising it’s a whole lot fun.

I was in advertising for more than a brief while and haven’t repented for it yet! I guess I will, eventually! Till then, here are some nice quotes on advertising. Enjoy!

‘Early to bed, early to rise
Work like hell and advertise’.
- Ted Turner.

‘Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently’?
- Evelyn Waugh

‘Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside of an advertising agency’.
- Raymond Chandler

‘In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts’.

- Jay Leno

‘Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless’.
- Sinclair Lewis

‘Advertising sure brings quick results. Last week I advertised for a night watchman and the same night my safe was robbed’.
- Anonymous

‘If advertising had a little more respect for the public, the public would have a lot more respect for advertising’.

- James Randolph Adams

‘As to the idea that advertising motivates people, remember the Edsel’.

- Peter Drucker

Joke ! ! !

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it.'

The judge had just one thing to say: CASE DISMISSED!

Quality Engineer Joke

A Quality Engineer married an average girl.

After two tough years of life with her, he got angry and sent a note to his father-in-law stating: "YOUR PRODUCT IS NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS".

The smart father-in-law sent an equally curt reply: "WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE."

small business without spending a lot of money

Is it really possible to grow a small business without spending a lot of money?


Yes, it is possible -- in fact, it's advisable.

There are two types of investments you can make in your business; 1) Time, or 2) Money.

We would never recommend that someone spend a lot of money on their marketing unless they have already developed and tested their strategy and systems to the point where they are fairly certain that each investment they make will produce profitable results.

Many business owners mistakenly believe that it's necessary to invest hundreds, even thousands of dollars creating fancy, four-color stationery, and expensive advertising to get their businesses off the ground.

To succeed you must have a solid understanding of marketing

Others actually believe that money can make up for a lack of marketing knowledge.

That's simply not true.

Without a solid understanding of how marketing works, you stand a good chance of losing every penny you spend.

Here's an example from our files:

A few years ago a young woman wanted to start a catalog business, and borrowed $85,000 from her parents for the photos, printing and mailing of her first catalog.

Unfortunately, she had very little marketing knowledge, and her first mailing resulted in very few sales. All the money she borrowed was lost in one shot. Money can't make up for a poor marketing strategy.

Until you have learned how to develop an effective marketing strategy for your business, save your money.

There are many low-cost -- even free -- marketing methods that will just take an investment of your time.

Before creating our current Internet business, we had grown a very profitable offline consulting business without spending a penny on advertising. It was all done through simple, Give to Get Marketing techniques. We invested our knowledge and our time, not our money.

When we moved our business to the Internet, we used a free Web hosting service, designed our own Web sites for free, and used free marketing tactics to attract hundreds of thousands of prospects to our Web sites and then converted a good percentage of them into customers. All of these low-cost and free methods have helped us build a very lucrative business on the web.

Of course, as we grew, those free services no longer met our needs. But by then our sales could easily support our investments in more reliable and effective services.

As you grow your sales and develop your marketing systems with low-cost methods, you can then begin to accelerate your growth with paid marketing techniques.

By that time, you should know how to invest $1.00 and get back $1.50 or $2.00. Once you reach that point, there is no limit to how big you can grow.

Here are just a few of the ways you can grow your business with free and low-cost marketing tactics:

-- Do Networking
-- Generate Referrals
-- Talk to Groups
-- Write Articles
-- Get Interviewed in a Magazine or Newspaper
-- Get Interviewed on TV or Radio
-- Create Joint Ventures
-- Submit to Search Engines
-- Swap Ads with Ezines
-- Write a Newsletter
-- Submit News Releases

Here's an example:

Mary, not her real name, sells scrap booking supplies. How does she grow her customer list? By putting on complimentary scrap booking workshops where she shares the latest tips, demonstrates some of the new, cool tools and supplies.

By doing this, Mary attracts her very best prospects-- people who love scrap booking and buy the types of products she sells. She offers special packages to anyone who is interested in purchasing right at the workshop. They get a great deal for buying immediately.

But that's not all. She has the name, address, and email address of every attendee from every workshop. She follows- up periodically with those scrap bookers in the future. When they are ready to buy, guess who they think of immediately?

You'll find hundreds more low-cost and free marketing techniques that really work on our Web site. There's a wealth of articles, tips and real world case studies to help you grow your small business without spending a fortune.

Effective marketing isn't about wishing or hoping for good results. It's about educating yourself about how effective marketing works to attract qualified prospects to your business and convert them into happy, loyal, lifetime customers.

It really isn't that difficult to grow your sales once you understand the simple steps needed to attract customers to your business like a magnet.

It just takes a decision on your part to 'do it!'